The Last

For hours on end she just walked and walked, not stopping or lifting her head. She seemed oblivious to the dozens of people that stared. Once she actually hit a pole; still she kept a strange, wistful, sad expression on her face, as if her mind was somewhere distant and she did not care what went on around and what happened to her.

Her steps were slow, she seemed to be dragging her feet. A shop owner observed her with a furrowed forehead and started reaching for the phone, but just shrugged his shoulders upon checking her clean, decent appearance, the phone in her hand.

The sun was high up in the sky when she started walking. By the time she reached the park, the lake was pitch black.

He was already there, seated on the all-too-familiar bench, his back to her. His shoulders were hunched. He hardly moved.

When he heard her footsteps he turned his head just a bit. She waited for him to look up but his eyes remained fixed on the ground.

She reached our her hand, which froze mid-air for several seconds before finally touching his shoulder, ever so lightly.

His hand went up and covered hers. Her hand turned palm-up to clasp his. They both breathed heavily as they felt each other’s warmth, if only for a little while. Neither dared look at the other; rather, they stared out into the invisible lake.

Soon she let go, took a few steps, sat beside him. Both their backs were hunched now. With hands on their own laps they continued staring out into the lake in silence.

One inch, and the world, separated them.

She did not know how long they were there, did not notice when she started fumbling the ring on her finger; she just felt conscious of the cold metal all of a sudden. When she turned to look at it the miniature stone seemed to blind her.

She felt him looking at it, too. She turned to see him but his head was bowed, face turned to her hand. She felt a familiar fondness as she studied his hair. She still fought the urge to pull the gray strand that stuck out from his crown.

There was no point in prolonging their common agony, so she began slipping the ring off her finger. She thought she heard a soft gasp — Did that sound come from him, or did she involuntarily let it out? She could not even tell.

She gently took his hand, put the ring on his palm, used her two hands to close his fingers around it. The fingers made no protest.

Before she realized what was happening he had stood up and thrown the ring into the darkness.

He let out a big, deep sigh and pulled her up to him for one long embrace. One last time. When they finally let go they held each other’s hands again, gazed at each other wearing the saddest of smiles. Then she gently pulled her hands free. She turned and walked away, steps as slow as ever, not looking back.

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*Writing exercise, “Body Language,” courtesy of Writing Forward. May I just say: Boy, was this hard! And this post got cheesy!!! Haha! I was actually unable to meet the required two pages 😦  Fun exercise, though.

The Wait

Oh, some day this turned out to be!

With a heavy sigh Emma detached herself from the building facade she’d been leaning on for the last five hours, and began dragging her feet along the pavement. Home, then.

She was right outside the barbershop, her fourth Saturday afternoon in a row, waiting and hoping to see him again. Hoping, too, that he might somehow see her and recognize her.

She’d gotten up extra early that morning and cheerily hummed her way through breakfast. Her befuddled older siblings could only silently raise their eyebrows; they already knew better than to try deciphering what strange ideas occupied her mind this time. Afterward she did all her household chores with a faint smile on her face, barely speaking; she then announced she was taking a bath, and came back down almost two hours later in her favorite dress — the one with the pink flowers, the one that her mother had asked her to save for very special occasions.

“I’ll grab a sandwich at the plaza on my way to the library; don’t worry about me.” She was out the door before anybody could respond.

Emma was so sure that he’d be here this time. Could a man not visit his barber for three straight weeks? Impossible! And he’d have to come in the afternoon, too, no doubt. Almost nobody came to the barbershop in the morning, except perhaps some of the lame, idle ones. Which he definitely ain’t, no way!

She counted a total of two hundred nineteen blue cars, forty-seven buses and thirty-three bald pedestrians. Yet, no Him.

Her eyes started flooding as she walked away from the barbershop, but Emma willed herself not to cry.

I’m not giving up, not now.

Soon enough I’ll see you again, and then I’ll be braver.

And then you’ll know all about me, Dad.

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Writing prompt, “some day,” courtesy of Inspiration Monday. Quite rusty, but happy to be back!

oil, please…

I’ve gone rusty. Tried a couple of quickie exercises to oil up… Posting my “works,” in raw, un-edited form.

1. Write for Ten

I haven’t written in months. Joined NaNoWriMo last November and a few writing groups, but got waylaid (is this an actual word?) but a number of then-more-important things.

Last night I was reminded of THE VISION: To write Christian literature that will lead people to Christ and strengthen their faith in the Lord.

I had begun writing a novel, my first attempt, and now I just have to get my groove back and push, push, push myself to write on. Do I want to commit to finishing it this year? <pondering, pandering…>

A few more things that I’ve set my mind on this year, all of them significant: our baby project, my MSW thesis, my Dgroup in church, my Bible reading, my two-books-a-month target (so far successful with a book each month), GLC 2…oh, dear me.

No room for idleness then. I have got to work my ass off. And pray like there’s no tomorrow.

2. One Word – “Loss”

Oh, the loss of time…my everyday tragedy as I always end up wasting, throwing away precious minutes doing things that are of no real consequence.

<Taking a bow>

ROW80 October 16th check-in

I was able to reach less than half my ROW80 goal for the last four days, with only a total WIP word count of 645. However I got to do a number of un-planned things, which may or may not ultimately help propel my writing.

I’ve started putting my yWriter5 to good use, and am now plotting my chapters and scenes more systematically with a big-picture view of my WIP. The tool’s also helping me to visualize better my characters and even my locations, so my WIP is really starting to come alive, yey!

I also explored the Philippine literature portal for the first time and made a list of competitions and calls for entries that I may just go for. I’m excited about any challenge that can be an opportunity for me to practice and improve my writing.

Lastly, I downloaded and installed Evernote, which will serve as my repository for all notes, links, reminders and tasks related to writing. Here’s to becoming a more organized (and hopefully, more productive) writer!

My particular fixation these days is writing good dialogue. If anyone has links to good references, do let me know please; it would be much appreciated! 🙂

postscript:

I almost forgot, I’ve also updated my NaNoWriMo profile, and have started posting on the Philippines regional forum. I’m all set for November! 😀

the multi-POV concept

As I briefly shared in a post last April, as far back as more than two years ago I had begun weaving in my head a story concept, in which the life of a woman is told from the different perspectives of men around her. I’m not sure now whether I’d been influenced by Irvine Welsh’s Trainspotting, but I just knew that was how I wanted my story to flow, regardless if it will take the form of a novel or a screenplay or whatever it was that I would end up producing.

Then Stephanie, the creative mind behind Inspiration Monday, came up with the awesome idea of Voice Week, which motivated me even more to keep developing my initial concept. I experienced first-hand through Voice Week that it could be quite a challenge to tell a story from five perspectives; how much bigger a challenge would it be then to come up with a full, 50 to 100 thousand-word manuscript, presenting several perspectives around one integrating story?

Over the past week, I’ve been practice-writing snippets of this planned work. I’ve also been working on polishing my plot outline and character descriptions.  My main concern, I believe, would be coming up with solid characters and a cohesive narrative, instead of an explosion of fragmented voices and pieces and scattered, incomplete storylines.

I signed up for ROW80, and that community has been so encouraging.  Then next month there’s NaNoWriMo! So it seems that all the possible venues for me to be creative and productive and to meet, interact with and learn from more creative people have already been given to me. I just have to grab these opportunities and make sure that I actually bear fruit.

So, all you voices in my head, I plead with you not to put me to shame. Go to work now; go tell your stories, and tell them well!

 

ROW80 Check-In

Time for another ROW80 check-in!

Hmm…It’s been a slow three days, but I’m glad to have improved my plot outline a bit thanks to the nudge from Sonia’s article! As for word counts, I achieved less than two-thirds of my goal (i.e., 3 days X 500 words) with the following scenes:

I hope to be more productive from today till the next check-in!

(added some hours later)

I forgot to log this: I discovered a number of writing tools courtesy of Dan Swensen, and have downloaded yWriter5. It’s fun exploring how to organize my stuff into something cohesive, and I can actually see some semblance of a flow now to my WIP! 🙂

nightcap

I’m posting my ROW80 progress here along with my last piece for the week.

My goal is to write 500 words a day toward the completion of my novel. Since my last check-in post, I’ve produced 4 posts (including this one) related to my novel. The first three were as follows:

The piece below has 603 words, giving me a 4-day total of 2,037 words. A slow start, but already much more prolific than usual! Most of the writing came today, though, which only tells me I can still do better at managing my time.

Anyway, here’s Nightcap, told in the voice of Ed (see more of him here):

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Her voice rang through the entire cafe and she didn’t even seem to realize it.

“…so these farmers end up with almost nothing, not even enough to feed their families!”

“Annihilation, then.”

“Ha! Yes, annihilate the hacienderos, who also happen to be the politicos, and the large business owners…They own everything and everyone, basically, you know? They own the sugar lands, then you step into a mall in the city and it’s theirs, you stay in a hotel and it’s theirs, too. They even own the cable and the telco.”

“Okay. Let me get this straight. You go there and become one with the farmers and stage your protests, and you talk of inequality and the excesses of the rich and the powerful. And then you come home and sit here drinking your 200-peso latte. How much are those farmers earning again, you were telling me? 50 a day?”

Her face shifted in a split-second, all seriousness gone and replaced by that sheepish grin that often made my insides turn.

“Well a freedom fighter needs her break and her caffeine fix, too, you know.”

I wasn’t gonna let her get away with it. I leaned closer and stared her down. “Boo. Hypocrite.”

Her mouth formed a perfect “O” and her eyes squinted precariously. I tried hard to keep a straight face, lifting my eyebrows just a tad bit.

“Okay, I’ll sound really defensive here, but I have to explain to you how my advocacy goes.”

“Convince me.”

She rolled her eyes before launching into another speech.

“Seriously now. One thing I’ve learned throughout the years, doing this work, is that one can only go so far if he’d limit himself to marching in the streets, and violence in any form is really counter-productive, if only the people doing it could take it upon themselves to admit the fact. So really, the way to do it now is not to fight anymore, but to engage. And that’s what we do, we engage with different stakeholders so that they can come to an understanding of one another’s positions and come up with solutions together. And yes, doing that can involve sitting in air-conditioned conference rooms and sleeping in cozy hotels.”

I was about to respond, but she wasn’t finished.

“Hey I wouldn’t ever pretend to be a farmer. They, we, all know I’m advocating on their behalf, bridging the gap between the community people and the powers-that-be. Who I am is part of why and how I’m able to do my job in the first place.”

I snorted. “I don’t buy it.”

“Seriously?” She slouched back into her chair with an exaggerated sigh. “Well then  I’m done explaining to you.” I couldn’t help laughing at her annoyance; she was always such an easy target.

“You really enjoy vexing me. I hate you.”

“Is it my fault that you’re always taking my bait?” I was laughing harder now, and I swore I could almost see smoke coming out of her nose. “Look, I was just teasing, okay? I actually get what you’re saying. Not that I’d ever even think of doing what you do, but I get it. And I really admire how passionate you are about this.” I was done laughing, and made sure she saw in my eyes that I meant what I was saying. “I know you can make a real difference, I know you’re really able to make change happen with what you’re doing.”

A five-second pause. Then,

“Okay, fine, it’s a truce then. And now,” She began to stand up, smiling again, “I need another latte. Tsk, another 200 pesos. Thanks for the emotional blackmail!”

She smirked and proceeded to the counter, leaving me snorting again.

always the fork

This piece belongs somewhere in the middle of my draft-novel-in-the-works. It also marks my initial progress for ROW80. 506 out of the targeted 500 words a day — not bad, eh? 🙂

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The sight of her caused my insides to feel all tangled, mangled…or maybe chopped up? Even after all these years I still couldn’t describe it right, this…power she had, over me. My palms started to sweat, and I put them in my pockets and fidgeted.

“Tsk.”

I’d been scared shitless that I’d respond the exact same way, and whaddya know? I really did.

Even from afar I noted the change: her gait was sure and steady, her gaze almost cold as it scanned the restaurant crowd. Then it fell on me, and I was back in high school.

I felt like someone punched my chest when I saw her break into her old, wide smile. She was waving quite wildly at me now, flailing her arms in the air and almost hitting a waiter.

How could she walk over here with such cheery composure? How could she look at me with such familiarity and affection, and yet so innocently, as if I were nothing more than a very good friend from way back? How could it be so easy for her to forget those episodes, when we had crossed that proverbial line?

For one quick instant her nakedness flashed before me. Then as immediately as it came, the vision was gone, replaced by the actual person standing in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.

“Hug!!”

I stood up and opened my arms to welcome her. She was as tiny as ever. She bear-hugged me, and I almost closed my eyes. Same perfume. Same intoxicating scent.

This was torture. And I almost didn’t want to let her go.

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Three years ago, same restaurant.

Her tone was gentle, yet firm. Almost like my mom, when she explained why I shouldn’t go running around barefoot outside the house.

“I know better now, Ed. I was…am lonely, and you’re the one person who’s always been with me. But you are not the love of my life.”

A slap on the face would’ve felt better. Yet I knew better then, too.

“Hey I know that, yeah? And I’m…it’s the same for me. I know it can’t…we’re not..And I have this entire new life to look forward to. But once in a while, I keep seeing the road ahead of me, with Ginny, then I look the other way and see another road…with you. It’s a futile exercise, I know, but…sometimes I just stare at both roads and…but yeah, you’re right.”

“I have to get through this thing, Ed, and I know I will, God will take care of me. The other night…never happening again. And hey, you gotta be firm with that road now with Gin, okay? That wedding’s the way to go for you two. You gotta do this. I know you’ll be happy. I know you love her. Don’t let my own crazy marriage pull you down and ruin this for you, too.”

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I wished then that I could just take her pain away. I wanted to be the one to free her from it.

And now here she was, looking so radiant, she lit up this whole place with just that smile of hers.

I avoided meeting her eyes.

 

Going for ROW80!

On to my next challenge now.

After failing miserably (well, maybe not so miserably; I did finish the week-long challenge in a week and a half) at Voice Week 2011, I’m ready to be pushed again.

So. I chanced upon A Round of Words in 80 Days (a.k.a. ROW80), and I think this is doable enough. This is apparently Round 4 of the challenge, and I’m glad I found out about it!

To be a bit on the sure side, I’m setting just one goal here:

FINISH THE FIRST DRAFT OF MY FIRST NOVEL. (see postscript)

I will actually sign up for NaNoWriMo, but I don’t want to be overly stressed about having to finish 50,000 words in a month. So I’ll try and see how far I can get with NaNoWriMo, but the ultimate commitment I’m making to myself is to have a complete draft in 80 days, starting tomorrow.

I’m happy and excited to see a big community here at #ROW80, and I’m looking forward not just to achieving my goal but also to interacting with the other writers here.

Ciao!

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postscript:

I just went over the #ROW80 blog and realized I need to improve my goal statement. Okay.

I WILL WRITE AT LEAST 500 WORDS EVERY SINGLE DAY FOR THE NEXT 80 DAYS, TOWARD THE COMPLETION OF MY NOVEL.

That should do it.

Voice Week, Days 4 and 5: The Big Move

Note: I failed to submit my Day 4 & Day 5 entries to Voice Week 2011! I’m putting them together here though I know this post won’t get into the VW site anymore — I’m just bent on finishing this project anyway 🙂

Thanks again, Stephanie, and thanks to the wonderful writers I met through this project!

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(These scenes take place moments before the Day 3 entry.)

Day 4:

“Phew, good riddance!!” The porch seemed to explode in laughter, as Nelly rolled her eyes and dramatically flung her fingers in the air. She had invited the girls over for afternoon drinks, sort of like a viewing party, to “see off” their neighbors.

Nelly couldn’t remember exactly how it happened, but their sympathy for Clarice just wore off over time and evolved into outright irritation. Once in a while she felt a tinge of guilt, especially when she was just starting to cut Clarice off in the middle of the almost-daily whiny calls…But soon she got detached enough even to make widow jokes.

“Oh, I wonder who the new ones are gonna be. Heaven forbid that we get another drama queen!”

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Day 5:

“…the green, green grass of home……Yeeehah!!

George sang along with good ol’ Tommy Jones and drove his good ol’ truck into the suburban neighborhood. By-standers turned to stare at the mean, big, rusty machine that roared as it went, and the look on their faces only made George chuckle. “What, you uppity folk never seen a farm truck before?”

Just a few more blocks. He couldn’t wait to get Clarice and his granddaughter out of that clean, white, uppity house. Bryan had been gone too long anyway.

Besides, Martha had been looking forward to having some noise in their little home again.