Need I say I absolutely flunked the blogging class I posted about more than half a year ago?
I am not one to give up, though. I am attempting yet again to write more (I was about to say, “more regularly” but decided to take it easy). First, a bit of an exercise: twenty minutes of un-censored, unedited writing. And time starts…now:
I have not written in any of my blogs for almost six months now, but I all this time I would always have nagging thoughts of having something to write about. Many times I would be in a situation, or engaged in a conversation, and think to myself, “I need to write about this. I have a lot to say, and I just need to organize my thoughts. I have something sensible coming on here.” Then in a minute, it’s gone. I wouldn’t even call it a broken momentum. I don’t even get to start.
I haven’t finished my novel. To be more accurate, it has not been touched, perhaps for about a year now. I’m still dreaming of finishing it.
Having stopped for a long period creates a pressure for the resumption of any of my blogs to be, I don’t know, special, I guess. I mean, I can’t just post a recipe, or I feel that I cannot do so, when my last post was a very serious, introspective piece waaaaay back in January. I also feel as if (and this happens every single time I resume after a long period of not populating my blog; in fact it is happening again, right now) I need to explain, to justify, to defend my not having written. It’s become pretty annoying, as I think at least once a year I have a post that starts with something like, “It’s been such a long time since I last made a post…life’s been such a whirlwind of activities…” Ugh. Horrible.
So what do I plan to do now? I guess I can try going back to those goals that I posted here last year, and see how far I get. I have to stop making excuses, and I have to stop kidding myself, thinking I should spend so much time for each post as it has to be good. Seriously. I just have to write. “Good” will follow.
So here I am giving myself a sermon…That’s the thing, though, in my head I always know the right words to say, I’m clear with principles, but perhaps I have to admit that bottomline, I am simply lazy. Plus, Facebook is wasting hours of my life. I swear, I’m practically enslaved. Lord help me.
Which I guess should lead me to an additional goal or resolution: A maximum of 30 minutes of Facebook a day. I’ve done this before, but then I had a relapse and here I am now. I can most certainly do this again.
Okay, I think my time is almost up. I’ll probably spend time after this looking for writing prompts or listing down things I want to write about. Maybe I’ll do the former. Writing prompts allow for more spontaneous writing, which I believe I need the most right now, as I haven’t been writing much more than emails and Facebook post for heaven knows how long.
In the next weeks my posts should be distributed between this blog and my more general/generic one, Taste and See. I really have to do this better. I know it’s good for me.
Who knows, I may actually finish that novel? So wait, I have to clarify my sketchy plans. I have to write here more, plus I have to continue work on my WIP.
I can do this. I’ve been sighing all these minutes I’ve been writing this, but I have to decide that I can do this.
Okay, my time’s up.
Note: I have just decided, after going over my free-writing output, not to touch it. This piece will remain unedited, messy and awful, to remind myself of how rusty I’ve allowed myself to become.